29 Things Only Parents of Autistic Kids Will Understand (Version 4)
1. Your child can strip naked while restrained properly in a 5 point harness.
2. You have repeatedly given your child the warning “Don’t lick that dog.”
3. 2 hours a sleep a night is all that is required for your child to run for the next 22.
4. You have a 6 foot Little Tikes trampoline in your child’s bedroom (yes, we do)
5. The next person to suggest a new ‘communication app’ will be hit over the head with the iPad!
6. Your child will watch the same YouTube video for the entire battery charge.
7. Your child will eat cherry tomatoes, but not grape tomatoes because of the way they look.
8. Using a pen first requires a key.
9. You need a key to get out of your house.
10. Your child refuses to drink their favorite juice box only to consume so much pool water you’re afraid the chlorine will make them glow.
11. Every morning you say – “Your shirt is inside out, try again.” Even though when you folded it and put it away it was right side out.
12. If your child insists they sleep on the floor or on the dog bed (Or a PupTent).
13. If before entering a friends home you say “We are keeping our clothes on for the entire visit!”
14. You are an electronics guru, versed in Windows, Apple and Android wifi setup and app download.
15. You have enough tablets and smart phones for a family of 12 and there are 4 of you.
16. Something is always charging.
17. If you have made chicken nuggets 5 nights in a row and you’re ok with it.
18. When in home support staff mean as much to you as family.
19. Your child’s odd language patterns become your every day speech.
20. Your house has been child proofed for over a decade even though your youngest child is 8.
21. If wifi goes down the device automatically reverts to a data plan without interruption.
22. You are still saying “Get that out of your mouth!” as your child starts Middle School.
23. You don’t ask stupid questions like “What did you do?” because you’re not getting an answer.
24. A ‘tantrum’ could require a trip to the ER.
25. You’re on a first name basis with the folks at Poison Control. 1.800.222.1222
26. A vacation is 5 days where everyone is healthy and no one needs to leave the Autism proofed house.
27. Your friends don’t get Autistic Kids, but will sit quietly and let you go on and on.
28. Your child watches youtube on their head, hanging of the side of a chair – For HOURS!
29. Your other children have no idea what ‘Odd’ is and would automatically be accepting of alien life forms. They’d probably hand them an iPad with a Communication App without giving it a second thought! “Hey MOM! Little green men just walked into the house. I gave them Keira’s iPad, they need fuel for their ship and something about Reese’s Pieces?”