How do you flush useless knowledge?
UGH! Why do I remember stupid stuff – but can’t remember to order heating oil?
Let me give you an example of stupid stuff that I can remember that serves absolutely no purpose.
When I was around 13 years old, 2 of my Christian school teachers went to the Capitol for a Pro-Life march.
Pause right there – I’m almost 40! Why would I remember that?
Continuing ….. At some point that weekend a major Nor’Easter hit the east coast, they were caught on a bus somewhere between Maine and DC in the storm.
…… the story gets better ……..
If memory servers, and I’m sure it does, it was a rented bus, they went with another church group and 2 of the members of that church group were Kelly and Janet.
…… Keep in mind – I WASN’T THERE! – but I know their names ………
Kelly and Janet brought with them their infant son, because Janet was a nursing mom. Janet couldn’t nurse her son unless she was laying on her back, in a position I can’t even begin to describe, but she and her baby pretty much had the entire back portion of the bus to themselves.
They get to DC, to the protest, I can’t remember who was President at the time, but I can remember that Kelly and Janet somehow got split up. Janet was with the ladies and I guess her husband, Kelly, was with the guys. Janet went on and on and on as if her husband was gone forever! My 2 teachers, who had been married long enough to have grown children, assured poor Janet that her husband had not been lost for good and if nothing else, he knew where the bus was parked.
Finally after (what felt like) hours, in the distance Janet spots Kelly. She tossed her baby to one of the church ladies and in foot deep snow, probably in a skirt, in the midst of wind, rain, sleet and hail, Janet yelled “Kelly” and in what was described as movie magic slow motion, Janet and Kelly ran across a great divide into each others arms all the way yelling “Kelly” – “Janet” – “Kelly” – “Janet” – “Kelly” – “Janet” – Cue Chariots of Fire! (see bottom)
…… but this is not where the memory ends ……..
After the protest my faithful God fearing teachers still had to accompany the group back from DC to Maine in the little bus. This was a perilous journey since the Nor’easter had laid down several feet of snow and showed no signs of slowing, making the drive nearly impossible. The little bus passed over-turned vehicles, multiple car collisions and was stuck in traffic for hours on end.
Now, my teachers were heavy coffee/diet Pepsi drinkers on a good day, but on this day to stay warm the consumption of coffee had jumped about tenfold – I dare say their eye’s were probably floating in it! And as the last rest stop came into view the driver decided that it would be best to stay the course and instructed the passengers that there was a Tupperware container in the back if anyone needed it.
To this day my teachers are very modest church going ladies, and though they may have gone behind a tree if camping with their family, there was no way in hell either of them were going to use a container on the back of a bus. I recall that one whispered to the other “my kidneys will burst before I use that bucket” and for the next several hours they crept along route 95 praying that wouldn’t be the case.
Now you may think that the reason I remember this story is because it was repeated time and again through my school years. But these same 2 teachers also repeatedly explain the basics of Algebra for as many years and for the life of me I cannot recall the sum of X.
This story, a completely useless memory, which isn’t even MINE, is trapped in my brain taking up much needed space! It’s using up neurons that could have been used to clue me in that – Hey there’s a major storm coming this weekend, why don’t you look at the oil tank and see IF ….. Oh I don’t know …… YOU HAVE HEATING OIL!
Cue Chariots of Fire!