If you are unlucky enough to live less than a mile from your child’s school, your child is considered a “Walker”. Meaning your kids don’t get to take the bus and every day someone has to endure the daily school drop off and school pick up. While this is meant to save the district money, it is utterly ridiculous because it forces more than half the schools parent population to drive to the school where the school has not provide enough places to park.
These are the hilarious events that happened 6 years ago today when everything didn’t go as planned in the Pick Up Loop
How to make friends and impress people!
It was 5 minutes until the bell, I was sitting in our rather large pick up, talking to my sister on the phone while Keira (then 3) was in the back of the truck cab doing who knows what! And I say to my sister “I‘m sure I‘ll impress all the other mommies today with my nose flaking skin everywhere thanks to my head cold and my 3 year old who literally rolled in the dirt before we left the house.”
The bell rang and I hung up with my sister, I pulled the key out of the ignition and low and behold the IGNITION CAME WITH IT!! There I was holding the key with a big ignition thing on it. I tried to put it back in, but there wasn’t time. I grabbed the wee one, jumped out of the truck, ran around to the front to find my oldest daughter (then 6) standing beside the passenger side door sobbing!
“Do you want to know WHY I‘m crying” she yelled at me.“Well, no hon. I need to call your father to see what I should do about the thing hanging off my truck key” Because as you may not know, the PTA is a pain in the ars and they have a fifteen thousand, four hundred and twenty-five rules when it comes to parking in “the loop” and one of those rules is that you can’t go around the other cars parked in “the loop” and at this point I’m the FIRST PERSON parked in the loop and no one can move because they have put double cones in the loop making it 1 lane! And the penalty for moving said cones? No one really knows, but it’s been rumored that they’ll chop off your hands!
So as I’m calling my husband, my 6 year old has ignored the fact that I told her I’m calling her father and is whining about a purple doll she doesn’t want to share. And as I’m leaving a message for my husband, my daughters teacher walked up behind me and starts talking about why Riley is crying, which I could have guessed why she was crying long before even Riley opened her mouth – she doesn’t want to share and she wants everything her way and she doesn’t understand why everyone doesn’t see it her way!
As I’m talking to the teacher, who by the way is about the same height as I, I realize that I have to move the cones and get people around me because the traffic is now backing up into the street. The conversation with the teacher continues OVER THE BED OF OUR HUGE TRUCK which neither of us can really see over as I move the cones and start waving people around me with the key which still has the ignition switch thingy still attached!!!!
Finally the teacher finish explaining what I already knew and I call my husband back – he answers and the conversation goes as follows:
Me: Honey, I pulled the key out of the ignition and……
Hubby: Yes, I know, you have to be careful or it comes out.
(My Mind: I‘VE BEEN DRIVING THIS TRUCK FOR 3 WEEKS AND YOU‘RE ONLY TELLING ME THIS NOW!!)
What I actually said: It’s out, what do I do?
Hubby: Put it back in.
(My Mind: HAVE I EVER GIVEN YOU REASON TO BELIEVE I‘D HAVE ANY CLUE HOW DO TO THAT!!?!?!?!?)
What I actually said: I can’t get it back in.
Hubby: (his joking voice) Well, looks like you’re walking home.
Me: BUT KEIRA IS WEARING REAL PANTIES FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!!
If you’re a mom, you know exactly what I mean. Your freshly potty trained little toddler is wearing brand spanking new panties and if they have an accident in the vehicle you can get them home quickly, but to walk a child home or worse CARRY a child home in wet panties is another ordeal.
And here I worried about the impression I was going to make on all the other mommies because I had flaky skin hanging from my nose and my toddler was covered in dirt!