1) the simplicity of a well stocked diaper bag
Before we had children my husband seemed brilliant. He could fix anything, invent anything, cleaned up rather well and could hold a pretty decent conversation. That must have been the pregnancy thinking for me because just minutes after our first child was born, the brilliance seemed to dim slightly. Neither of use had children from prior relationships, pretty much new territory for both of us. Yes, I did have a bit of an advantage, I started baby sitting at the age of 10 and my sister and I had been roommates after the birth of her second child, but this was my child – I at least thought it was different.
For his part, my husband did everything I asked and many things I didn’t, but all in an attempt to make our home coming as easy as possible. He made bottles, dinner, cleaned up, fed the baby – all the good dad things. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband – still can’t, but then came “thinking on his own” and that’s where the problems started.
My husband was home for several days after the birth of our first child – I felt very comfortable on my own so when the first doctors appointment came the same day he went back to work I told him “don’t worry, I’ll be fine”
The night before I double checked the diaper bag, made sure it was over stocked with everything I could possibly need to prove I had become the perfect mom in all of 14 days. Picked out the perfect “perfect first doctors visit” outfit and laid it out beside the changing table. I was ready to go.
My husband took first shift (we’ll get into my husbands perfect idea of “shifts” much later in the blog.)
Tim would take care of our daughter until midnight, this was around his normal bed time. I would take over from there.
I went to bed and around 1 am when our beautiful little girl woke for her bottle I was shocked to find she was sleeping in her “perfect first doctors visit” outfit.
She was in pajamas when she went to bed. She had stacks of pajamas in case of diaper leakage – Why on earth would he put clothing on her and put her back to bed?
This is where the “thinking” comes in – “Because you laid it out” I lay out my clothing for work the next day before I go to bed, I don’t sleep in them!
Admittedly, there are some baby outfits that look like pajamas, but it was August! This was a sundress.
That morning, not wanting to start a fight about something that obviously was a miscommunication I dropped it. Tim left for work and I started getting ready for our early first doctors visit.
I was doing rather well time wise and when it was time to go I went to the bedroom to grab the fully over stocked diaper bag to find it was EMPTY! There wasn’t a thing in it! I grabbed the phone and called my husband “where is everything that was in the diaper bag”
“Well” he said sounding rather annoyed that I didn’t know “I put everything away so when you got ready to go today you’d know where everything was.”
I couldn’t hold back “I KNEW WHERE EVERYTHING WAS – IT WAS IN THE DIAPER BAG WHERE I PUT IT!!!!”
There was no time to argue, I hung up grabbed what I could think of, stuff it into the bag and ran out the door completely unprepared and not feeling anything like the perfect mom I was a mere 12 hours before.
This didn’t stop at the diaper bag, emergency supplies I left in the car would be brought in as he was being “helpful.” Once we were on an overnight trip – of course we had ALL the bottles with us. On our way home we stopped to visit his mother – 2 hours away from our home – “THEY” felt the need to take all the bottles out of the diaper bag, wash them, not telling me and allow us to leave without one bottle in our diaper bag. THEN his mother call us after we left to inform me “YOU forgot all your bottles.” I bit my lip so hard I should have gotten stitches.
After that day there was a rule “NO ONE EVER TOUCHES THE DIAPER BAG WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT OF eDee.”
Not that the lack of consent form has stopped my husband from trying to be helpful when it comes to the diaper bag or anything else when we travel.
He feels comfortable unpacking baby equipment, clothing, food, putting everything away then saying “ok Hun, I’ve gotten everything done for you I’m going for a little walk to check things out.” Translation: “Now that I’ve hidden everything I’m going to leave you here with a screaming child so you can hunt for whatever you need – because I’m the man! I’ve done good and now I need to go scout around.”
Yes, I’ve said something, That is taken as being uptight and not able to relax and enjoy our stay. REALLY!!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely thrilled my husband is willing to help out in anyway. This is just one of those things I’m NEVER going to understand lol